Main sochti thi ki woh kabhi nahi jaanega. Lekin aaj usne woh kar diya jo maine hamesha dar ke saath socha tha – usne mera phone uthaya, jab main bathroom gayi thi, aur usme kuch dekh liya.
Jab main wapas aayi, toh woh sofa par baitha tha, pair par pair rakh ke, ek haath mein mera phone aur doosra haath apni thodi par. Uski ungliyan screen par ruki hui thi, jaise koi khatarnak secret pakda ho. Mera dil zor se dhak dhak karne laga. Maine apna chehra normal rakhna chaha, lekin meri saans andar hi andar ruk gayi.
“Kya kar raha hai?” Maine aawaz mein ek laad bharne ki koshish ki, lekin woh bekarar lag raha tha.
Usne nazar uthayi. Uski aankhon mein wo woh nahi tha jo pyaar se dekhti thi. Ek tez, seekha sa sawaal thi. “Yeh kya hai?” Usne phone mera taraf badhaya. Screen par ek purani photo thi – main aur mera ex-boyfriend, do saal pehle ki. Ek simple selfie thi, lekin us waqt woh kuch aur hi matlab le rahi thi.
Maine ghalti se woh photo delete karna bhool gayi thi. Woh album ke andar thi, jahan maine socha tha ki koi nahi dekhega. Lekin woh aaj mere ghar aaya tha, aur maine use apna phone diya tha gaana lagane ke liye. Aur usne… khoj liya.
“Kuch nahi, purani photo hai,” Maine jawab diya, apni baalon ko peechhe karte hue. Haath thoda kaanp rahe the, lekin mainne control kiya.
“Purani photo? Yeh toh woh photo hai jo tune mujhe bataaya tha tune delete kar diya.” Uski aawaz mein choti si chubhan thi, lekin woh utna bhi upset nahi dikhta tha. Shuru se hi woh ek sambhalta aadmi tha, jo bhade sawaal bhi thehraav se poochta tha. Lekin aaj uski aankhon mein ek gehrai thi, jo mujhe bechain kar rahi thi.
Main sofa ke doosre kinare par baith gayi, taake uske aur mere beech thoda fasla ho. “Main delete karna bhool gayi. Itna bada issue nahi hai.”
“Toh phir tune sirf mera naam kyu delete kiya phone mein? ‘Mera Babu’ se ‘Bablu’ kar diya?” Usne ek eyebrow uthaya. Uske hothon par ek halki si muskaan thi, lekin woh muskaan bhi ajeeb thi – jaise woh kuch jaanta ho jo main nahi jaanti thi.
Maine apni petticoat ki silai ko ungli se ghuma diya. Uski baat sach thi. Kal hi maine uska contact name change kiya tha – kyunki main sochti thi ki ‘Mera Babu’ too cringey ho gaya tha. Lekin uske liye woh ek sign ho sakti thi ki main kuch chhupa rahi hoon.
“Toh… tune mujhe bina bataye phone check kiya?” Maine apni awaz mein gussa laane ki koshish ki, lekin woh asar nahi kiya.
Woh aage jhuka, elbows ghutno par rakh ke. Ab uska chehra bilkul paas tha. Main uski saans ki garmi mehsoos kar sakti thi. “Haan, kiya. Kyunki kal raat tu mujhse ajeeb behave kar rahi thi. Aur jab maine poocha ki kya hua, toh tune kaha ‘kuch nahi’. Aur main jaanta hoon ki tu jab kuch chhupati hai toh apne daant se apne upar ka hoth kati hai.”
Mera muh khula reh gaya. Woh mujhe itna achi tarah jaanta tha. Lekin uski yeh baat ne mujhe aur bhi fikar mein daal diya. Agar woh itna achi tarah pata karta hai toh woh kya soch raha hai mere baare mein? Aur kya woh sach mein sirf woh purani photo dekh raha tha?
“Toh kya tune kuch aur bhi dekha?” Maine poocha, aawaz doobi hui.
Woh kuch der chup raha. Uske thoughts kuch aur hi soch rahe the. Phir usne apni ungli se sofa ke cushion par ek pattern banaya. “Haan. Ek aur file thi. ‘Personals’ naam se. Woh nahi khul paayi, kyunki password tha. Lekin tu bata, usme kya hai?”
Meri dil ki dhadkan aur tez ho gayi. Woh file toh maine bahut pehle banayi thi – jisme maine apne kuch raaz likhe the, jo main kabhi kisi ko nahi batana chahti thi. Woh files abhi bhi thi, lekin main bhool gayi thi ki woh phone mein saved the.
“Woh… woh mere personal notes hain,” Maine jhuth nahi bola, lekin poora sach bhi nahi.
“Personal notes? Toh kya tu uska password bata sakti hai?” Uski aankhon mein ek cholli si chamak thi – curiosity aur yeh feel ki woh kuch bada pakad raha hai.
Main neeche dekh liya. Mera haath apne thigh par tha, mainne ungliyan bheench di. Us raat ke liye maine socha nahi tha ki woh aise sawaal karega. Aur main nahi jaanti thi ki usse kya jawab dena hai.
Woh uthkar khada hua. “Sun, main nahi chahta ki tu kuch chhupaye. Kyunki agar tune kuch chhupaya toh main sochega ki tu mujhse door ho rahi hai. Aur main woh nahi chahta.”
Usne haath badhaya, meri taraf. Main uthi, lekin uska haath nahi pakda. Woh thoda muskuraya, jaise mujhe samajh gaya ho. Aur phir usne kaha, “Chal, abhi BAIR se chalte hain. Lekin raat ko… baat hogi.”
Uski baat ka matlab kya tha? Woh raat ko baat karega? Woh kya poochhega? Kya main taiyar hoon? Woh mera haath pakad kar mujhe le jaane laga, lekin mera mann kuch aur hi soch raha tha. Main uske saath behndi hui, lekin ek gehrai mein ja rahi thi – jahan jawab nahi, sirf sawaal thay.
Hum BAIR pahunch gaye. Ek chhoti si coffee shop thi, jahan pehle kabhi aaye the. Lekin aaj ka mahaul alag tha. Usne order diya – do cold coffee, extra cream. Main bas dekh rahi thi, uski aawaz mein wohi purani warmth thi, lekin ankhon mein kuch aur. Jaise woh soch raha ho ki ab main kaise bach ke nikaloon.
Hum ek corner table par baithe. Andar aata hua light, dheemi si. Mere haath thande the, maine cup ko pakda, lekin usme bhi kaanp raha tha. Usne dekha. Usne apna haath mere haath par rakh diya – ek chhoti si touch, jaise accidental ho, lekin woh jaanta tha ki woh accidental nahi thi.
“Tum theek ho?” Usne poocha, aawaz mein wohi pyaar jo mujhe kabhi disturb karta tha. Kyunki woh pyaar mein koi shart nahi thi – sirf ek sawaal tha, aur woh mere dil ko chhed raha tha.
Main ne haan me sir hilaya, lekin mera dil nahi maan raha tha. Woh haath nahi hata raha tha. Uski ungliyan mere haath ke upar se dheere dheere ghum rahi thi, jaise woh kuch aur hi soch raha ho. Main bechain ho gayi, lekin us bechaini mein ek nasha tha.
“To kya baat karni hai raat ko?” Maine awaaz mein ek halki si cheekh chhupayi, lekin woh hanse bina bhi nahi rah sakta tha.
“Pehle bata, uss file mein kya hai?” Uski aankhen seedhi meri aankhon mein thi. Koi jhijhak nahi. Woh jaanta hai ki main jhooth boloongi toh pakad lega. Lekin main usse door bhi nahi bhaag sakti. Kyunki woh mera hai.
Maine ek deep breath liya. “Woh… woh mere sapno ki diary hai. Jahan maine woh sab likha hai jo main kabhi kisi ko nahi bata paayi.”
Woh thoda aage jhuka. “Jaise?”
“Jaise… jab main chhoti thi, maine apne body ke saath kuch cheezein explore ki thi. Aur main darti thi ki koi jaan jaaye to mujhe bura samjhega.” Main ne apni aankhen jhuka li. “Aur phir… maine woh sab likhna shuru kar diya.”
Woh chup raha. Phir usne coffee ka sip liya, aur meri taraf dekha. “To tu uss file mein apne secret desires likhti hai?”
Main thoda sa laal ho gayi. Mera dil uth raha tha. “Haan… lekin woh sab teri hi yaadon ke baare mein hai. Kyunki main tere sath kuch cheezein karne ka sapna dekhti hoon jo main kabhi kisi ko nahi bata sakti.”
Uski aankhen chamak uthin. Woh ab pura aage jhuk gaya, uska chehra mere bahut paas tha. “Jaise?”
Main ne uski aankhon mein dekha. Woh raat ka waqt tha. BAIR mein ab sirf hum do the – baaki log chale gaye the. Staff bhi piche chala gaya tha. Ek halki si hoom hoom aawaz thi. Main ne apni saans rok li, aur phir dheere se kaha:
“Jaise ki main chahti hoon ki tu mujhe apne control mein le. Jaise main teri baat sunu. Jaise tu mujhe teh kar de, aur main bas teri raah dekhu.”
Woh sunte hi ruk gaya. Uska haath mere haath par se hat gaya. Lekin woh haath ab mere gale tak aa gaya tha – dheere se, jaise woh koi chiz naap raha ho. Uski ungliyan meri gale ki haddi par ruk gayi.
“To tu yeh chahti hai?” Uski awaaz dabi thi.
Main ne aankhen band ki aur sir hilaya.
Woh utha. Usne mera haath pakda. “Chal, ghar chalte hain. Abhi.”
Hum wapas gaye. Raat ka andhera tha, lekin mere andar ek roshni thi – ya darr? Pata nahi. Lekin main jaanti thi ki ab jo hoga woh mera sapna tha, aur main uska hissa banne ke liye taiyar thi.
Ghar pahunchte hi usne darwaza band kiya. Phir woh mujhe le gaya apne bedroom mein. Wahan ek chhoti si light thi, jo parde ke neeche se aati thi. Main dekh sakti thi uski aankhon mein woh shart jo usne kabhi na poochi thi.
Woh mere samne khada tha. “Toh aaj raat main tera control loonga. Lekin pehle tu mujhe bata dega ki tu kitna dar aur kitna chaah rahi hai.”
Main ne apni saans rok li. “Main dar rahi hoon. Lekin chaah bhi utni hi rahi hoon.”
Usne muskaraya. Phir usne apne haath se mera dupatta utara, dheere dheere. Uski ungliyan mere shoulders se hoti hui meri kamar tak gayi. Main kaanp rahi thi, lekin woh ruka nahi. Usne mujhe slowly bed par leet diya. Main ne aankhen band kar li, lekin woh bolta raha:
“Aankhen kholo. Dekho ki main kya kar raha hoon.”
Maine aankhen kholi. Woh mere upar jhuka hua tha, uski nazar meri nazar se mili. Phir usne apne haath se mere kapdon ke button kholne shuru kar diye. Ek ek button, jaise koi pooja kar raha ho. Main sirf dekhti rahi. Mera dil dhak dhak kar raha tha, lekin uski ungliyon ki speed slow thi, jaise woh waqt ko rokna chahta ho.
Jab mera shirt khol diya, to usne neeche jhuka kar mere pet par halka sa kiss kiya. Woh kiss bhi aisa nahi tha – bilkul halka, jaise woh mera skin padh raha ho. Main ne apni ungliyan uske baalon mein daal di. Usne dheere dheere upar aaya, aur phir usne mere honton ko chua – ek deep, lamba kiss, jisme saari baatein thi jo hum bol nahi paaye.
Uske haath neeche chal rahe the. Maine apni thigh ko halka sa hila diya – ek invitation. Usne samajh liya. Woh aahista se apne kapde utarne laga. Main uski perfect skin dekh rahi thi, jism par paseene ki boonden, aur uski aankhon mein woh hunger jo maine sirf apne sapno mein dekha tha.
Phir woh mere upar aaya. Ek ek movement woh jaanta tha. Usne apne haath se mera pet, mera waist, mera neeche ka area – sab ko dheere dheere touch kiya. Main ne apni saans roki, lekin woh bina kuch bole, bina koi explicit word, apne shabd nahi, apne touches se mujhe bata raha tha ki woh mere har secret ko samajh raha hai.
Jab hum ek doosre mein vanish hue, woh pal aisa tha jaise main apne sapno ko haqeeqat mein je rahi hoon. Woh dheere dheere, ek rhythm mein, jaise koi samundar ki lehar. Main ne apna chup nahi rakha – main cheekhi, lekin woh cheekh bhi ek taal thi. Usne mera naam liya, aur main uska.
Woh lamha jab aaya – jab hum dono ek saath ek tez, gehra sukhad mehsoos kar rahe the – toh maine dekha ki uski aankhen band thi, lekin uska haath mere haath mein tha. Uski ungliyan thi meri ungliyon mein. Aur us samay mujhe laga ki maine apna sabse bada raaz uske saath baant diya, aur usne woh raaz apne bana liya.
Woh mere paas leet gaya. Paseene se bheega hua, lekin khush. Uski saans mere kaan ke paas thi. Main ne uski taraf muh kiya.
“Ab tu jaanta hai mera secret?” Maine poocha.
Usne aankhen kholi. “Haan. Aur ab main tera secret hoon.”
Main ne uski gale mein baahon ka ghera bana liya. Woh raat wahan khatam nahi hui – lekin meri kahani ka ek hissa wahan mukammal ho gaya. Aur aaj bhi jab main uss file ko padhti hoon, toh mujhe lagta hai ki woh file ab khaali hai – kyunki jo secret tha woh ab mere boyfriend ke dil mein bas gaya hai.